Kesubos 22a: If a woman said, “I am married,” and later said, “I am single,” we do not accept her second claim. But if she gives an explanation for why she lied the first time, she is believed. This law came to play in the case of a beautiful woman who had many suitors, and said to them, “I am already married.” But shortly thereafter, she married a man. The sages asked her, “How could you do that?” She replied, “At first when undesirable men came to me, I said I was married, but now that the right man came along, I got married.”
כתובות כב ע”א: אמרה אשת איש אני, וחזרה ואמרה פנויה אני ־ אינה נאמנת, ואם נתנה אמתלא לדבריה ־ נאמנתֹ ומעשה נמי באשה אחת גדולה, שהיתה גדולה בנוי וקפצו עליה בני אדם לקדשה, ואמרה להם מקודשת אני, לימים עמדה וקידשה את עצמה, אמרו לה חכמים: מה ראית לעשות כן? אמרה להם: בתחלה שבאו עלי אנשים שאינם מהוגנים, אמרתי מקודשת אני, עכשיו שבאו עלי אנשים מהוגנים, עמדתי וקדשתי את עצמיֹ.
In the summer of 1839, a young single woman in the town of Yoka, Hungary became pregnant, and pointed to a certain man as the father of the baby. This man denied her claim, and was even willing to swear on a sefer Torah that he had never slept with her. Still, he wished to marry her. But when Reb Shmuel, the Rav of Yoka, informed him that he would be forbidden to marry her until after she had given birth and nursed the baby for two years, he changed his tune. He admitted that the baby was his, and that only due to embarrassment he had denied this at the beginning. (A man is forbidden to marry a woman nursing another man’s baby, lest she get pregnant, be forced to stop nursing and the man might not care to provide for the baby. But for his own baby, he would definitely provide money for a wet nurse – see Yevamos 42a.) Was it permitted for him to marry this woman right away? The Yoka Rav sent the question to the Chasam Sofer.
The Chasam Sofer noted that the Tzemach Tzedek (Rabbi Menachem Mendel Krochmal, 1600-1661), Siman 104, had already dealt with this question and so had the Shev Yaakov (Rabbi Yaakov Poppers Katz, d. 1740); both had ruled strictly. The Tzemach Tzedek’s argument was that true, someone is believed to contradict his previous claim if he gives a good excuse, called an “amasla,” for why he lied the first time. However, in this case, there is an amasla for both claims. It’s plausible that he originally denied paternity out of embarrassment, but it’s also plausible that he is now claiming to be the father only in order to be able to marry her right away.
However, the Chasam Sofer argued that the first amasla is much stronger. Anyone would lie rather than admit to fathering a child out of wedlock. He cites the example of the Ran on Shevuos, who says that if witnesses say, “We don’t know any testimony about you,” and then later admit to knowing testimony, we believe their second claim, since we understand that the reason why they lied originally was just to avoid testifying in Beis Din. We believe this even if the witnesses didn’t state their excuse. All the more so in this case, where a man is accused of fathering a child with a single woman, that he would definitely lie about it due to embarrassment – and rightly so. On the contrary, it’s a chutzpah to say openly that one has committed such an act.
Furthermore, a woman would not have the nerve to claim that she is pregnant from a certain man if it were not true. But the man in question has no such chazakah to support his denial. On the contrary, it is the norm for a man to deny paternity. And in our case, the man’s desire to marry the woman supports the fact that he fathered the child, for if not, why would he be interested in a woman who led a promiscuous lifestyle with men other than himself?
Therefore, the Chasam Sofer humbly disagreed with the argument of the Tzemach Tzedek. However, because he did not feel that he was on the level to disagree with the great poskim who came before him, he did not wish to rule leniently unless two other precautions were taken. Number one: the Beis Din should inform this man that it is a great sin to lie about this, that the son she will bear will one day inherit his property, and that he will be admitting the son of a niddah into his family. He should accept under cheirem that the truth is that this is his son, and the cheirem should be administered in the month of Elul or on Erev Rosh Chodesh – times when simple Jews are afraid to sin. Number two: the young man must appoint a guarantor who, in case she gets pregnant a second time during the days of nursing this baby, commits to paying for a wet nurse for the first baby, or for baby formula.
Source: Teshuvos Chasam Sofer, Even Hoezer 28.
